Today marks the 40th day of 2025, and I find myself yearning to rewind the clock back to 2024. In my previous entry, I confidently declared that we had navigated the challenges of 2024 with a sense of achievement, and we were eagerly anticipating the opportunities that 2025 might unfold. However, I must hit the brakes—stop the press! It feels as though time has warped in these past 39 days, compressing what should have been a brief chapter into a seemingly endless saga.

The sector I have dedicated the last twelve years of my professional life is crumbling right before my eyes. Each passing day reveals the stark reality of a landscape painted with uncertainty and turmoil. The once-vibrant international development sector I knew is on the brink of disintegration, and I can’t help but ponder what will emerge after April 2025.

I won’t dive deep into the politics of the international development sector, but I can’t help feeling disheartened by how it’s often treated. It seems like everyone has their “Boogeyman,” and for 2025, that’s sadly become international development. Reflecting on my journey, I realize I stumbled into this field, but deep down, I always felt I was preparing for a role beyond the borders of the United States. For a long time, I wasn’t sure what serving outside my homeland would look like, but I knew that was where I was headed. I often share with the young men and women I mentor that life is all about the experiences we gather along the way. Those moments and lessons genuinely matter, even more than reaching the final destination.

This week, my organization, along with many others, faced the very challenging decision to place dedicated staff members on leave without pay. This was done in hopes that our financial situation would improve, allowing us to bring many of these valued individuals back after a 90-day review. The abrupt halt in foreign aid funding has severely impacted our ability to fulfill essential payments to vendors, contractors, and our staff. It’s a difficult situation; many of us feel we’ve been stranded, away from our support networks. The sense of helplessness is overwhelming as we strive to provide encouragement to staff and partner organizations whose livelihoods depend on these critical salaries and funds.

I recently shared with a friend that this isn’t the first time I’ve faced a layoff; it’s the third time. The first was after my boss lost reelection (2003), then again when Congress implemented sequestration (2013), and now with the current reorganization of US foreign assistance that funds my organization. It’s been a challenging few weeks, and I truly empathize with others navigating similar experiences. I genuinely believe that there will be joy no matter what challenges arise. The first layoff opened a door for me to move to Washington, D.C., and the second layoff transformed me into a global citizen. A friend once joked, ” You must be the most cultured American.” This comment made me laugh because there are numerous Americans in the more remote places compared to me. But he was commenting on my travels around the continent and my knowledge of what is happening there. Since relocating to the African continent in 2013, I have experienced incredible adventures. This period of uncertainty and turmoil is temporary; the relationships I’ve built while living across this vibrant continent will stay with me for a lifetime.